4.13.2009

Jarack Fitzbama O'Kennedy

This was written before President Barack Obama won the presidential election:

Barack Obama has drawn several John F. Kennedy comparisons. It's only natural that a conspiracy theory spawn from them....

The Obama Experiment began when Kennedy's boredom (later termed Tom Brady Syndrome) reached its zenith. Why was Kennedy bored? Rockstar status in the world. Hot wife. Marilyn Monroe singing "Happy Birthday" to him. Beating out an established politician (this time Vice President Richard Nixon) for president as a younger, less experienced senator. (Sound familiar?) 

Barack Obama was "born" Aug. 4, 1961. JFK "died" Nov. 22, 1963. This was when the Civil Rights Movement began to take off. Living with Tom Brady Syndrome prompted JFK to become a risk-taker, and just before his "assassination" he decided to undertake the ultimate challenge, winning president as a black man. Therefore, it is no coincidence that JFK's presidency aligns with the Civil Rights Movement.

In addition to leveling the field for an entire race, the long term effects would allow for minorities (women, blacks, Hispanics, etc...) to more successfully infiltrate the politcal arena, thus allowing things to come full circle when O'Kennedy selects Hillary Clinton as his vice presidential candidate.

I can't spill all of my secrets, but I'll just say this: JFK graduated from Harvard. Obama went to Harvard Law School. Think that might be some unfinished business on JFK's part? Also, assuming O'Kennedy wins the election and is elected to a second term, the second term would end months before JFK's 100th birthday (May 29, 2017), which just happens to fall on Memorial Day when he'll be celebrating the biggest "Gotcha!" in world history.

Don't be surprised in November if/when O'Kennedy wins and, being caught up in the moment, he jerks off his mask (a la pro wrestling) and shouts "YES! I DID IT!"

You read it here first.

4.04.2009

Random thoughts....

Here are a few random thoughts...

  • Graduation season is upon us, and I have one simple question... Does anyone have a name for that faux leather thing (probably PVC) in which they put your diploma/degree?
  • Is it just me, or would it make sense for restaurants to sell gum? Are you surprised that Doublemint hasn't partnered with McDonald's to kill Big Mac breath?
  • We know Good Friday is the Friday before Easter? Any takers for naming that following Monday?
  • Scarlett Johansson has twin... brother. Talk about a buzzkill.
  • I don't feel weird about buying contraceptives from Wal-Mart
  • An old man fell asleep in my classroom this week... TWICE! More on this later...
  • I have to finish my '90's movie list...
  • I have to finish my Adventures with a Cameraphone stories, too... kind of fun...
  • I am TOO addicted to Grand Theft Auto IV....

4.03.2009

Procrastination

I got Grand Theft Auto IV... 'nuff said...