Jarack Fitzbama O'Kennedy

This was written before President Barack Obama won the presidential election:

Barack Obama has drawn several John F. Kennedy comparisons. It's only natural that a conspiracy theory spawn from them....

The Obama Experiment began when Kennedy's boredom (later termed Tom Brady Syndrome) reached its zenith. Why was Kennedy bored? Rockstar status in the world. Hot wife. Marilyn Monroe singing "Happy Birthday" to him. Beating out an established politician (this time Vice President Richard Nixon) for president as a younger, less experienced senator. (Sound familiar?) 

Barack Obama was "born" Aug. 4, 1961. JFK "died" Nov. 22, 1963. This was when the Civil Rights Movement began to take off. Living with Tom Brady Syndrome prompted JFK to become a risk-taker, and just before his "assassination" he decided to undertake the ultimate challenge, winning president as a black man. Therefore, it is no coincidence that JFK's presidency aligns with the Civil Rights Movement.

In addition to leveling the field for an entire race, the long term effects would allow for minorities (women, blacks, Hispanics, etc...) to more successfully infiltrate the politcal arena, thus allowing things to come full circle when O'Kennedy selects Hillary Clinton as his vice presidential candidate.

I can't spill all of my secrets, but I'll just say this: JFK graduated from Harvard. Obama went to Harvard Law School. Think that might be some unfinished business on JFK's part? Also, assuming O'Kennedy wins the election and is elected to a second term, the second term would end months before JFK's 100th birthday (May 29, 2017), which just happens to fall on Memorial Day when he'll be celebrating the biggest "Gotcha!" in world history.

Don't be surprised in November if/when O'Kennedy wins and, being caught up in the moment, he jerks off his mask (a la pro wrestling) and shouts "YES! I DID IT!"

You read it here first.

Random thoughts....

Here are a few random thoughts...

• Graduation season is upon us, and I have one simple question... Does anyone have a name for that faux leather thing (probably PVC) in which they put your diploma/degree?
• Is it just me, or would it make sense for restaurants to sell gum? Are you surprised that Doublemint hasn't partnered with McDonald's to kill Big Mac breath?
• We know Good Friday is the Friday before Easter? Any takers for naming that following Monday?
• Scarlett Johansson has twin... brother. Talk about a buzzkill.
• I don't feel weird about buying contraceptives from Wal-Mart
• An old man fell asleep in my classroom this week... TWICE! More on this later...
• I have to finish my '90's movie list...
• I have to finish my Adventures with a Cameraphone stories, too... kind of fun...
• I am TOO addicted to Grand Theft Auto IV....

Procrastination

I got Grand Theft Auto IV... 'nuff said...

Adventures with a cameraphone - Vol. 1

Friday, March 13, 2009, was the day before Spring Break, and I had to spend that day helping out at the 54th Annual Legend's Track Meet... it's one of my obligations as a coach in his offseason. Anyhow, the meet occurred during the day, which meant I had to take a professional leave day, which meant I had to book a substitute. I told one of my friends, a coworker, that I would email him the work to give to my sub...

One problem: my Internet went out... So I had to manually deliver the work to the school Friday morning, and while I was there I saw something extremely random, and moments like that make me glad I have a cameraphone.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the lack of secureness my high school's security guards provided. I know I could have said 'security' instead of 'secureness.' Anyhow, there are 2,000+ students at my high school... I want you to mentally rank the list of a security guards priorities... then, tell me if, maybe, the security guards might be going overboard in one area....

Way No. 1,016 to Tell You Work in an Unsafe Place: The substitutes are more afraid of getting parking tickets than  being shot. Security, I need you to pool your resources and refocus them...

Can't spell scapegoat without T.O.

I don't want to make this a sports blog (because I could stay on here all day), but I have to say something about how the Cowboys ditched Terrell Owens.

Disclaimer: The author is fully aware that Terrell Owens has a selfish/diva/attention-seeking persona, which has earned him every bit of the flak that gets thrown his way...

Now...

They made him the scapegoat in Dallas. He was an awful productive jackass. In his stint in Dallas, Owens had more receiving touchdowns than ANY receiver in the NFL, and that's including Randy Moss' 23 TD season.

Again, I'm not saying he didn't deserve to be cut, but was he the SOLE reason the Cowboys stunk it up? You mean he was the only bad locker room guy there? He certainly wasn't the worst player there.

The knock on T.O. is that he doesn't catch everything (and he does drop a ton)... and he still caught 38 TDs in three seasons.

The other thing that people may say is that it was Romo who helped him... He's No. 2 all-time in TD receptions... He's been doing it his whole career.

And he also has been rubbing people the wrong way... but these people are GROWN MEN. And so is T.O. Therefore I expect grown men to behave as such.

So, T.O. grow up on your next stop. Teammates, be the bigger man... regardless of how many times it takes...

If your life were a movie...

Who would play you?

Well, Michael Phelps has that question answered...

And, you know, what makes it so eerie....

(whispering)
His last name is.... SCHWIMMER...

Thank you. I studied under Nostradamus...

R-A-N-D-O-M

I've got an acronym for random. It's mine. I coined it. I take full ownership over it. Don't try to use it or I'll send her after you...

Anyhow, here it is:

Reality
Always
Need
Dubious
Odd
Moments