Um, yeah... I don't feel safe...

Reason No. 10,241 why working at a school never gets boring:

In addition to being an English teacher, I'm a basketball coach. I only bring this up because you'll normally catch me with a whistle around my neck. (In addition to being the precursor to push-ups and sprints, the whistle is a classroom-management miracle! Now I just need this guy to sell my idea.)

Anyhow, my afternoon walk from 5th period (basketball) to 6th period (English) was interrupted by one of our five security guards. Here's the exchange (loosely):

Him: Do you have another one of those?
Me: (puzzled) What?
Him: That whistle. I could use one of those. We're gonna start traffic duty.
Me: (even more puzzled) Sure. I'll give you one next time I see you.

That's right up there with "Have kids" and "Visit New York City" on my list of things to do... Speaking of lists:

Way No. 955 to Tell You Work in an Unsafe Place: The security guards ask you for work-related materials....

I mean, am I asking him for Shakespeare quotes???